Well, I'm blessed with pretty long-range tanks but I hadn't even leveled off when I had to go ... like right now. No, not back to Lunken; no, not a stop at Greensburg, and certainly not all the way to Bakalar Field at Columbus. Right now. The good news was I had that humongous-size paper coffee cup. The bad news was I'd only drunk about half out of it. I briefly pondered the merits of using the "space available" versus gulping it all down and having the whole cup. The latter option seemed more realistic so I drained the cup, engaged the autopilot, released the belt, slid the seat back and started peeling down my jeans. Naturally, Cincinnati called with a clearance to 5,000 feet. By half-kneeling on the floor I could reach the push-to-talk button on the yoke, select 5,000 feet on the autopilot, increase the power and request to briefly leave the frequency. They agreed but the situation was so comical I was convulsed with laughter. Getting myself together, literally and emotionally, was something of a challenge. Factor in that this maneuver had to be carried out with flawless precision. My boss had issued a reprimand when the owner called him because he found popcorn kernels and a Tootsie Pop wrapper on the floor the last time I flew the Bonanza. Imagine the ramifications after this flight if ... .