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From time to time I get an email from my brother-in-law that comments on his or someone's flying experince. I enjoyed this one, thought I'd share it.
.......never had the opportunity to become a taxpayer funded "swept wing jet god" for the military due to "obvious" low intellegence and no college degree. I had to eventually "settle" for Captain at Southwest Airlines!! :+)
Be that as it may....I believe.... had I been "washed in the sacred blood of the Academy" I would have sought to fly the Skyrader.....a "manly" airplanes to be sure..would carry it's weight in ordinance...NINE TONS. Of course I understand the way smoke is blown up your "exhaust stacks" in the military....you are the "scum of the earth" if you didin't "aspire" to the "lofty realms" of "fighter pilot"!!! To be a helicopter pilot was even WORSE...... Oh yeah???? BULLSH*T!!! The REAL work was done "low and slow" and "eye to eye".
Of all the time I have logged...the time I prize most is the 150 hours I have in a Howard 500....although the Howard only had TWO....R-2800-CB17 W/blowers and ADI injection...the start sequence was exactly the same. It was a GLORIOUS machine.....the equivelant of having two GI-NORMOUS Harley's idleing beside you. The starter rotated the blades sooooo slowly you thought the batteries were nearly dead.....you would "tap" the fuel boost pump....all while saying..."come on sweet-heart....just have a little sip...come on darlin...just taste of it....come now".......... one cylinder would "catch"...then a second.....third...then a backfire of pure flame out the stack...when she told you YOUR CHOKEING ME BITCH.......then a fifth, sixth,seventh, eighth.....and she would BURST into GLORIOUS RESOUNDING EXISTENCE screaming I ....AM .....ALIVE!!!!
You just don't "start" radial engines, as this guy says, you "entice" them into "life" all the while, in your mind, praying you don't piss them off while they are "awake". Once they "catch" and you run the mixture "ball" to the wall...you would "crack" it back an inch or so just so she would not choke on her own "spit".....your reward would be a "lope" that would resonate through your whole body like a big breasted blonde giving you a warm baby oil massage in a candle lit room surrounded by CCR playing "Rolling on the River" in the background!!!!! (now think about that for a moment!) :+) OH BABY!!! The "left side" would "light off" in the same manner...if you were careful and returned the massage through the various levers you "fondled" during the process......it was TRULY AWESUME....
.The "fun-nest" part of operating that low slung, double tailed, tail dragger was taxiing into LAS on a monthly basis, with the windows slid open, your elbow sticking outside like you did in a 57 Chevy and pulling up between a Lear, a G-II, or a Jetstar. We would sit there for a minute and sometimes just for kicks, run the mixtures up so she would choke down a little thereby deepening the "lope" at idle. You'd then crack her back , clear her throat and drag the mixtures to cut off. It would take several seconds for those big four bladed props to unwind....and then silence. IYou would then walk back through the STAND UP cabin (and I'm 6'4"), fling the door open....toss the dufflebag containing your BALLS out in front of you and step out behind them and then stuff'em back in your blue jeans saying BY GOD..... WE ARE HERE!!!!!!haaaaaa ...it was GLORIOUS!!!
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